The three things tradie couples fight about most (and why it's actually normal)
When the arguments feel constant
You love him. You know he works hard.
But lately, it feels like you're fighting about everything.
Money. Time together. Where the business is heading. What the plan is. Whether there even IS a plan.
And you're exhausted. You feel like a nag. Like you're always on his case about something. And he's frustrated too — shutting down or getting defensive every time you try to bring it up.
Here's what I want you to know: You're not broken. Your relationship isn't failing. This is normal.
After working with dozens of tradie couples (and living this ourselves with Jayson and me), I can tell you that the things you're fighting about? They're the same three things almost every tradie couple fights about.
And there's a reason for that.
The Three Things Tradie Couples Fight About
After years of coaching tradie couples and living this life ourselves, the arguments almost always come down to one of three things:
- Money — How much there is, how it's being spent, why there's never enough
- Time — Lack of connection, no quality time together, feeling like roommates
- The Plan — Where are we going? What are we working towards? What's the point?
Sound familiar?
These aren't just random things to argue about. These three elements are what keep us existing as human beings.
We need financial security. We need connection. We need direction.
And when one (or all) of those things feels missing or threatened? Of course you're going to fight.
Why These Three Things Hit So Hard
Here's what makes these arguments so intense:
Money = Safety
When money is tight, unpredictable, or not being managed well, it doesn't just feel stressful. It feels unsafe.
You're working your arse off managing the business, keeping everything together, and the money still doesn't feel under control.
That anxiety? That's your brain telling you something needs to change.
Time = Connection
When you're not spending quality time together, the relationship starts to feel like a business partnership instead of a marriage.
You're coordinating schedules, managing logistics, dealing with staff issues — but when was the last time you actually connected?
That distance? That's what breeds resentment.
The Plan = Direction
When there's no clear plan for where the business (and your life) is heading, it feels really, really unsettling.
What are we working so hard for? Where is this all going? When do we get our life back?
Without a plan, you feel out of control. And that creates massive anxiety.
"When we don't have a plan and we've got no direction, it feels really, really unsafe. When there isn't that time committed to each other and the family and making a plan — it's unsettling."
When you say that to tradies, they sometimes take it personally. "I'm working my arse off to provide for this family, and you're saying you don't feel safe?"
But that's not what we mean.
It's not about physical safety. It's about emotional and financial security. It's about feeling like you're on the same team, working towards the same future.
The Two Ways Couples Fight (And Why You're Probably Opposites)
Here's something interesting we've noticed: couples tend to fight in one of two ways.
Some people go to ground. They shut down. Go silent. Withdraw. Stop talking about it.
Other people flare up. They get loud. Big. Cranky. Want to talk it out right now.
And here's the kicker: You and your partner are probably opposites.
Jayson and I are. I'm sure you can guess which one I am and which one he is.
(I don't laugh at that like it's cute or funny — but it is an interesting pattern we see constantly with our clients.)
Why does this happen?
Because in tradie businesses, personalities tend to be opposite. And that's actually WHY it works so well.
You bring skills he doesn't have. He brings strengths you don't have. Together, you're a complete team.
But those opposite personalities also create conflict:
- The way you want to manage money will be different
- The amount of time you want to spend together (and the priority on that) will be different
- How you want to get to your future goals will be different
And that's completely normal.
If you're struggling to balance the business with your relationship, check out our post on Why Your Trade Business Admin Is Struggling — And What Tradies Can Do About It for practical ways to support each other better.
Why She Keeps Bringing It Up (Even Though She Feels Like a Nag)
Here's something that's really important to understand:
When your woman is fighting with you or bringing stuff up, it's because she really, really cares.
But here's how it feels from her side:
"We feel like a nag. We feel like we're just on his arse all the time. We're working hard, not getting to where we want with them, and it's really challenging."
She's not trying to make your life harder. She's trying to get on the same page.
She's trying to:
- Understand the money situation so she can stop worrying
- Create time together so she doesn't feel disconnected
- Make a plan so she knows what you're working towards
She's trying to get heard. To feel seen. To be part of the team.
And when that's not happening? The anxiety builds. The resentment grows. And the arguments get bigger.
What Jayson and I Do When We're Out of Sync
Look, we're human too. We're not immune to this stuff.
Jayson and I have the same arguments you do:
- Money stress when cash flow is tight
- Feeling disconnected when we're both flat out
- Frustration when we're not aligned on the direction
And here's the only thing that really works for us:
We sit down and chat through it. We get back on the same page.
We look at:
- The money situation — What's actually happening? What needs to change?
- The time situation — When are we going to prioritise us?
- Our priorities — What are we actually working towards?
Because here's what happens too often: We get caught up in life and forget to recheck ourselves.
Not just from a business perspective, but personally as a couple.
You need to recalibrate. Regularly.
The Truth About "Perfect" Couples
Let me be really clear about something:
Any coach out there selling you sunshine and rainbows and skipping through the fucking dandelions? They're full of shit.
Especially if they're working with couples in business.
Because here's the reality:
- You're NOT going to agree all the time
- It's NOT always going to be smooth sailing
- You WILL have conflict
And that's okay. That's normal.
In fact, if you're not having any disagreements, you're probably not being honest with each other about what you actually need.
The goal isn't to never fight. The goal is to fight productively — and get back on the same team quickly.
Why Opposite Personalities Create Both Magic and Conflict
Here's what we find in the tradie business world:
The lady usually has one type of personality. The tradie usually has a different one.
And that's why it works. That's why the business succeeds.
You balance each other out. You cover each other's weaknesses. You bring different strengths to the table.
But that also brings up conflict:
- Different approaches to money management
- Different priorities on time together
- Different ideas about how to reach your goals
You're probably mostly aligned on WHAT you want for your future. But HOW you get there? That's where the disagreement happens.
And when you're not on the same page? Of course you're going to fight.
Of course you are. You're human — just like us.
What Our Coaching Team Understands (Because They've Lived It)
Here's something really special about our team at Ladies with Tradies:
They're all tradie wives.
They're not just business coaches who read about this stuff in a book. They've lived it. They know what it's like to:
- Manage the business while their partner is on the tools
- Feel disconnected because there's no time together
- Stress about money even when the business is making it
- Want a plan and a direction instead of just surviving day to day
When we see our clients going through this, we feel it. Because we've been there ourselves.
And we have systems that work — not because we read about them, but because we've used them in our own marriages and businesses.
The Simple Check-In That Changes Everything
Here's what we do when things feel off. And it's what we recommend to every tradie couple we work with:
Ask yourselves three questions:
- Is the money situation causing stress?
- Do we know what's coming in and going out?
- Are we on the same page about spending?
- Do we have a plan for getting ahead?
- Are we spending enough quality time together?
- When was the last time we actually connected?
- Are we just coordinating logistics, or are we still a team?
- What do we need to change to prioritise us?
- Do we have a clear plan for the future?
- What are we working towards?
- Are we aligned on where we're heading?
- Does it feel like we're on the same team?
If any of those answers is "no" — that's where the conflict is coming from.
And the solution isn't complicated. It's about making time to get back on the same page.
The 10-Minute Daily Check-In That Saves Relationships
You don't need hours of deep conversation every day. You just need connection.
Here's what works:
Spend 10 minutes a day checking in on those three things:
- Money: Anything money-related we need to discuss?
- Time: Are we okay? Do we need more time together?
- Plan: Are we still aligned on where we're going?
That's it. Ten minutes.
It sounds simple. But it's powerful.
Because when you're regularly checking in, small issues don't become big fights. Resentment doesn't build. And you stay on the same team.
If you're struggling with cash flow stress (one of the biggest sources of couple conflict), check out our post on Why Tradie Businesses Keep Going Broke and How to Stop It for practical money strategies.
What to Do When You're Already in a Fight
Okay, so you're already fighting. Now what?
Here's what works for us (and our clients):
Step 1: Take a breath
Seriously. Stop, breathe, and remember you're on the same team.
You're not enemies. You're partners who want the same things but have different ways of getting there.
Step 2: Sit down together
Not in passing. Not while one of you is doing something else. Actually sit down, face each other, and talk.
Step 3: Identify which of the three it is
Is this about money? Time? The plan (or lack of one)?
Name it. Because once you know what it's really about, you can actually solve it.
Step 4: Get specific
Don't stay in the emotions. Get practical.
- If it's money: What specifically is causing stress? What needs to change?
- If it's time: When can we prioritise us? What do we need to say no to?
- If it's the plan: What do we actually want? How do we get there together?
Step 5: Make a decision together
Even a small one. Just agree on one thing you're going to do differently.
That action — that decision made together — is what gets you back on the same team.
You're Not Alone (And You're Not Broken)
Here's what I want you to hear:
You are normal.
The fights you're having? We have them too. Our clients have them. Every tradie couple has them.
It doesn't mean your relationship is broken. It doesn't mean you're not meant to be together. It doesn't mean the business is ruining your marriage.
It just means you're human. And you're navigating a really challenging thing — running a business together while trying to maintain a relationship.
That's hard. Really hard.
But it's also completely doable when you:
- Acknowledge that conflict is normal
- Understand what you're really fighting about
- Make time to get back on the same page
- Remember you're on the same team
What We Want You to Remember
When things get tough and the arguments start:
Remember that you are on the same team — even if you've got different ways of getting to the same end result.
You're not against each other. You're working towards the same future. You just need to get aligned on how you're going to get there.
And that starts with:
- Making time for each other (even just 10 minutes a day)
- Being honest about what's causing stress (money, time, or plan)
- Actually listening to each other instead of just defending your position
- Making decisions together instead of assuming you know what the other wants
You've got this. You're going to be okay.
Ready to Get Back on the Same Team?
If you're fighting about money, time, or the future — and you're ready to get back on the same page — our Powerpass 1:1 Coaching Program can help.
We work with tradie couples every week who are dealing with exactly what you're dealing with. Because we've been there ourselves.
Our Powerpass 1:1 Coaching gives you:
- Personalised support tailored to your specific situation
- Direct access to your coach who understand tradie businesses
- Strategies that work for YOUR relationship and business
- Accountability to actually make the changes you need
Book a call with us and let's talk about what's really happening in your relationship and your business.
On the call, we'll:
- Identify which of the three things is causing the most conflict
- Look at what's actually happening with money, time, and your plan
- Map out how to get back on the same page
- Give you practical strategies you can use immediately
No judgment. No shame. Just real support from people who've been exactly where you are — through our Powerpass 1:1 Coaching Program.
Because you shouldn't have to choose between a successful business and a happy relationship. You can have both.
Let's get you back on the same team.
Book your call here — because you deserve better than constant fighting.
Take a breath. Have a kiss and a hug. And remember — you're on the same team, even when it doesn't feel like it.
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